SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week of school.
"I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother.
"I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me
talk!"
On the first day of school,
a first grader handed
his teacher a note from his mother.
The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child
are not necessarily those of his parents."
BIBLE
A little boy opened the big family bible.
He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages.
Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible.
He picked up the object and looked at it.
What he saw was an old leaf that had been
pressed in between the pages.
"Mama, look what I found", the boy called out.
"What have you got there, dear"?
With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered,
"I think it's Adam's underwear!"
I was driving with
my three young children
one warm summer evening when a woman
in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved.
She was stark naked!
As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my
five-year-old shout from the back seat,
"Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"
A little boy got lost at
the YMCA and
found himself in the women's locker room.
When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks,
with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover.
The little boy watched in amazement and then asked,
"What's the matter,
haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"
ELDERLY
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to
elderly shut-ins,
I used to take my four-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds.
The various appliances of old age unfailingly intrigued her,
particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs.
One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth
soaking in a glass.
As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions,
she merely turned and whispered,
"The tooth fairy will never believe this!"
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